Sunday, 11 December 2011


The title says it all.
Sorry if I repeat myself a lot or if the wording doesn't make sense, I don't have the time to go back over it.

We finally found Megan a few days after my last post. When we were searching Forbes we caught a glimpse of her just after sunset, standing at the edge of the grounds of the Catholic College that's there. She wasn't doing anything..just staring at the school. We immediately pulled over and leaped out. Not surprisingly, she saw us, turned and sprinted off.. I have no idea how long we pursued her for. It felt like forever at the time. Eventually we ended up following her into some park, no idea what it was called. After another minute or so Megs ran out of steam and collapsed. She's quite possibly the least fit person in Australia. Remember how I said we were looking for something that might help her? Well, that was a stuffed animal my parents got her for her 10th birthday, and it has a message from then recorded inside it. I won't type out what it's too personal. Since Slendy seems to have brainwashed her into thinking mum and dad didn't like her I was hoping it would do something to help reverse it. I don't know whether it did anything, because a millisecond after it finished Wheatley appeared the hell out of nowhere and shot Brian before either of us had a chance to react. Time seemed to stop. I honestly have no idea how long I stood there staring at his body in disbelief.
Wheatley made the mistake of laughing. That broke whatever was keeping my eyes glued on Brian and I launched myself at the proxy with every intention of pulling his head off.
Of course Slenderbastard had to step in and stop us from killing each other.

I woke up some time later that night in a completely different part of the park, alone with Wheatley and the abomination. Slendy, using Wheatley as its mouthpiece said that it was grateful for bringing Brian out here and getting him to lower his guard so one of its proxies could finally kill him. (Why did it just never do it itself?) and that as a reward it was willing to offer me a deal. It said that it was willing to let Megan go because apparently she's been next to useless, but in return I have to take her place.
My God this is sounding like the plot to a really terrible fanfic.
And in keeping with the terrible fanfic theme, I agreed. After telling Wheatley I'm going to kill him when I have the chance.

So...yeah. I guess that's it. I'll try to check on her whenever I have my mind to myself to make sure the abomination has truly freed her. She won't be the same as she was before, but at least she'll be free.

This will probably be the last time you'll hear from me. The longer that bastard is in contact with your mind the harder it is to remember who you are. Either you end up some soulless creature who is barely self aware or twisted into thinking what you're doing is right like Megan was. I'm guessing I'm the former.
 I'm pretty sure it's only letting me remember as much as I have so I could write this because it's getting some form of twisted amusement out of it.
Fuck I'm going again. I've taken too long writing this as it is, but I really have to say thank you. All of you for everything. I probably would have curled up in a ball and jsut cried if i thought i was alone and didnt know you suported me. You have no idae how much you all mean to me.Roy please pleasepleasepleaseplease try to save your freind. I saw that sick gaem that joker is playing on his blog and before i go i'm going to try and answer him seeing as you said if you were wrong you wanted someone else to try. I apologuse in advance if i'm wrong.

So once again farewell everoyne. Youve all been fantastic


Friday, 11 November 2011

Saturday, 5 November 2011

Oh yeah, I have a blog

Whoops, forgot all about this. Again.

Oook. Where to begin.
Alright, so after my last post we drove back up to Brisbane to go search my parents' house again. Stupid car broke down on the way so we had to wait a few days in this place called Coonabarabran while it was being repaired. Nice Chinese restaurant there. Few typos in the menu though..."Scallops" were listed as "Scalpos" and "Lunch" was "Luch". And these weren't just on the menu; the massive sign outside was advertising 'Half-Price Luch".
Gave us a small laugh in any case.
So after that we arrived at the house, walked in the door...and then woke up days later in two different Queensland forests. I also had Megan's phone for some reason.
Got drunk while waiting for Brian to show up, and apparently started singing stuff in Sindarin and speaking like Alex from a Clockwork Orange before passing out and waking up with the world's biggest hangover.
Cue annoyed drive back down for "Operation Search House", take two.
We entered the house again, and thankfully weren't Timewarped out again. Maybe Slendy was off bothering somebody else.
So we searched again, and this time found some old-looking exercise book on the bench. Now I'm SURE that wasn't there when I was here a few months ago, so I'm assuming we had found that and moved it there before we were Timewarped. It looks like it was a diary kept by my mother when she was still living in Ireland. Reading it at first it seems like an ordinary, childish diary, but towards the end it seemed a She seems anxious, and the third last page was taken up by a drawing of a crudely-drawn, multi-armed stick figure. Her last entry mentions something about going "Up to the hill" with a friend. After that it just...stops. Like on the last page there's a few ink blots at the top like someone thought about writing something but changed their mind as soon as the pen touched the paper. After that there's just a few dried water spots, and that's it.
...Did this thing go after my mother when she was still in Ireland? Is that why he came for them now? Did it really take thirty-odd years for it to catch up to her? Or is it just some huge coincidence?

Oh...and I also managed to take a photo of the wall in Megan's room. Probably nothing of use there. Good indication of her mental state even before that bastard took her. And no I have no idea where the hole in the roof came from.

I did manage to find what I was looking for, so we're basically just cruising around waiting for some sign of her. If this doesn't work I don't know what I'm going to do. 

And Roy, seriously convince your friend to move. Like, now. He's in danger and the longer he stays in one place the worse it's going to be. If you don't think he'll take you seriously, trick him into going on a road trip or something! Just anything to get him moving. 

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Note to self:
Get Aly drunk more often. The results are hilarious.

Another note to self:
Also remember to go out and buy Panadol for the resulting hangover so she'll stop whining.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Probably not going to work...

 Yes Brian, I know this is incredibly stupid, but your phone's saying it's been disconnected so this is the only way I can think of contacting you. Are you ok?? What the bloody hell happened?!
On the off-chance that you do see this, mind coming and getting me?
 I'm in the Uptown Internet Cafe in Port Douglas. Don't ask me how I got up here; I haven't got a bloody clue. And yes I know saying my exact location is the absolute worst thing I could do, but I'm out of options.

Saturday, 22 October 2011


So God damn frustrated right now I think I'm going to end up spontaneously combusting.
Alright, I'm guessing I should probably start from when we went to search on Tuesday.
Roy, saying you're going somewhere and then actually going somewhere else is what smart people do. We're just your average pants-on-head retards here! HERP-A-DERP. Will definitely do that in the future though. Thanks for telling us :)

Since we were going into bushland that neither of us had ever explored before, we went out and bought a shitload of red string so we'd be able to leave a trail for us to follow back out to our car so we wouldn't end up trapped in there for the rest of time. Having no idea where the hell we were actually going, we just tied one end of the string to the car's side mirror, and then bravely ((stupidly)) set about aimlessly wandering the bush. As you can probably guess, we didn't find anything, and soon we ran out of string so we decided to go back and maybe try another day.
Unfortunately, Slendy decided to get his troll on.
After a while of following our trail, we realised that the bush was getting thicker rather than thinner. Smarter people would have gone "NOPE" and walked in the opposite direction, but like I said earlier we tend to carry the idiot ball quite a lot in dangerous situations. Eventually, the trail ended at a particularly tall paper-bark tree. Scanning it, we found a cartoony love heart and a downward pointing arrow drawn on one side in what I'm loathe to admit looked like dried blood. Brian stood guard while I foraged around in the leaf litter where the arrow was pointing until I eventually felt a small bit of cold metal.
It was my mother's wedding ring.
Like any normal person would, I immediately lost my shit. Seriously if Slendy or any of his proxies had been there, I would have probably ended up going Hulk Hogan on their arses.
It took a while for me to calm down enough to tell Brian what the bloody hell I was freaking out about, and by the time I was coherent enough to tell him, the sun was going down. Upon realising this, we both looked at each other and silently agreed it was time we got the fuck out of there. I don't know about you, but neither of us are too keen on spending the night in Slendy-infested bushland.
To anyone watching, it would have looked like we were running from a lion or something, with both of us crashing through the undergrowth hoping like mad we were going in the right direction, and not going to end up running into one of Slenderman's world famous hugs. Through some miricle we managed to get close enough to the highway that we could see headlights shining through the trees, and from there we managed to find our way back to the car.
Note to self, in the future, NEVER park a car under a tree full of lorikeets. It will be covered in bird crap when you get back.
I spent the rest of the night locked in the bathroom crying while Brian was doing...well whatever the hell he does when he's not scolding me. Probably watching Care Bears or something. I honestly would not be surprised if he watched something weird like that.

Ok, fastforward to last night when Megan left her little message. She...sounds different. I'm not sure what it is about her voice, but it's definitely changed. I'm starting to see what Roy and Brian have been saying about that just being her body...she's not there anymore. Well, she is. She's just buried under all of Slendy's bullshit. She's still there. I'll find a way to bring her back.
After that message and mother's ring, Brian's finally managed to convince me to stop chasing her around, hoping she'll magically get better as soon as we find her. As much as I hate to admit it, it's true that we're getting nowhere, and we're just going to get ourselves killed if we just keep blindly charging into obvious traps.
I've been thinking about various methods that might work to bring her back. I doubt they'll work, but all the same I don't want to say any of them online until they've been tested so they can't prepare to counteract it. The hardest part is to get the things we need we're going to have to leave. Like, we'll be a good 1000km away. I don't want to go. The last thing I want to do is leave her in bloody Victoria on her own, but I just can't see any other way.

And mother's ring....would it just be false hope to think there's a small chance mum and dad are still alive somewhere?

Roy, about your friend. I would be getting very, very nervous if I were you. Sure it might be nothing, but it's sounding waaaaaaaaay too familiar for me. I'm especially concerned about the memory loss...Sure the coughing has an equally likely chance of being because of his smoking, but even with all the ways smoking messes up your body I've never heard of it causing memory problems before....Keep talking to him, and if things get worse tell him to start running and never look back. As hard as it is just to let him go on his own, I wouldn't recommend going with him unless you end up being stalked as well. Trust me, running isn't a pleasant experience, and if you're "clean" so to speak, running with him is only going to put you in unnecessary danger.
Maybe try to convince him to stay in a really tall hotel building for a few days and see if that helps him at all, even if it's only temporary. to you guys again when I can find Internet.

Friday, 21 October 2011

What the...?

Where are you?? How did you access this?? Are you ok?? Were you there the other day??? Please just talk to me! We're trying to help you! I have no idea what that bastard's been telling you, but you've got it all wrong! Mum and Dad never had favourites!! Please just come back!!! Please come back!!  Everything will be ok!! Don't listen to him!! You would have to have been in a town somewhere to post that right? Just stay put! We'll come find you!

See you soon


Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Going bush

Found another Internet place! Yay! 

Alright, thought I'd better post this now so if we both end up dismembered you'll know why I've stopped posting. 
Simply asking around towns is getting us nowhere, so we're going to drive back to the place where Megan was taken and search the bush. 
I know, we're both incredibly stupid and possibly about to die. 
Still, there is a chance we may find something. And even if Mr. Slendy shows up, we'll just shoot the bastard. That's gotta at least slow him down for a second. 
So yeah. Thought you all would want to know. 

And Anonymous commenter on my last post, if that's you Wheatley, go fuck yourself. 
If not, um...have fun quoting Macbeth? 

Monday, 17 October 2011

On the road again

I’m back Internet! Finally found an internet cafĂ© so I could log in and update. Got this thing set on a timer so it will be posted a few hours after we leave this town. Try to track that, Wheatley.

Ok, first things first. What the hell, Brian? Why did you write that last post uber formal? You don’t have to write it like an English assignment you know. Dude you’re like the Aussiest Aussie I’ve ever met, it’s actually kinda creepy reading that thing you wrote. It just sounds….wrong coming from you.  Not saying I don’t appreciate you posting while I was…incapacited but it’s still creepy as hell.

No sign of Megan since that day. We’ve been travelling from town to town asking people if they’ve seen anyone of her description, but no luck.
I swear when I next see Slenderdick I’m going to tear off his tentacles and feed them to him. You hear that you wussy little Eldritch Abomination? Don’t get too attached to them.
To be honest, since she was taken nothing has happened to us.  We’ve been moving around every few days and working odd-jobs for petrol and food money, and we’ve seen neither hair nor tentacles of Slendy or any of his proxies. I’m starting to think he only wanted Megan from the start…now that he has her, he’s gone and moved on to stalk other victims. 

Slendy, do you really think if you just ignore us that we’ll go away? Or maybe you knew we’d still come after you, so you’ve just taken her first, and you’re using her to lure us to you?  Or maybe you you only really wanted her but because you’re a sadistic bastard you’re going to lead us in a vain goose chase all over the country?
God now I’m just giving myself a headache.
Well, Slendy does have a very minor case of serious brain damage, so I highly doubt he could think like that anyway.

…wait maybe antagonising that monster isn’t the smartest idea in the world. Oh well. What are the chances he’d ever see this. God I doubt he would be able to read, even if he had eyes.
Well my time’s almost up and the clerk-guy is giving me the evil eyes since he wants to close up shop and go home.

And Roy, just wanted to thank you for your kind comments :) They've really made my night.

Goodbye for now, Internet.

Tuesday, 27 September 2011


Brian here, no Aly today.
Allow me to set something straight. I think this whole blogging thing that a lot of people being stalked by Slenderman do is an unbelievably stupid idea. All it is doing is letting the enemy know what your doing at any given time. I'm only writing this because Aly told me to, and I would have felt guilty if I refused. This is probably not going to be very exciting to read, but then again I am not trying to entertain you. I am merely relaying information.

The last time you heard from us was about five days ago when Aly was whining about the tyre going flat, correct? As you should all know, I left Aly and Megan with the caravan while I walked back to the servo we had passed to try and find help. In hindsight I never should have left them, but at the time neither of us had any idea what was going to happen.

Aly said that less then a minute after she posted her last blog entry she heard a knocking at the door. Silly girl as she is, she never thought to look out the window first before opening the door. She says her assailant moved faster then she could see, and violently kneed her in the chest before she could react. While trying to get her breath back she looked up and saw Wheatley was the one who attacked her. He seemed to suddenly snap to attention and stare at the space behind Aly. She turned around to see Slenderman himself had materialised behind her and pulled away the curtains shielding Megan from view and (somehow) sliced through the ties holding her down. The moment she was free she leapt up and hugged him around the middle and yelling "DADDY!", and looking happier then she had ever looked in her entire life. The last thing Aly remembers is him turning to look at her, and then waking up in hospital this morning.

I returned later hitching a ride with a passing Trucker that was heading in the same direction. When we arrived we found that the caravan had been partially crushed, tipped upside down and set on fire with Aly lying unconscious at most a metre away from it. For some reason the car had been untouched. I piled her into the car and drove to the next town large enough to have a hospital. The doctors could not see any real reason why she refused to wake up. She only came to this morning, and she was so frantic to get out and try to track down Megan the doctors almost had to sedate her. Since then she has just stared silently out the window unless I ask her something, and even that only gets a one or two word response. About half an hour ago she came to life and told me what happened before practically ordering me to post it here. I still do not understand why it is so essential that random people over the Internet be told what happened, but it is obviously important to her.

Since the fire destroyed almost everything we owned, our current possessions include
-the $50 total money in both our wallets
-my phone
-the clothes we are wearing
-the packet of chips which were in the glove-box of the car
-her mask which was in the back seat of the car
-the car
-a spare tyre
-my rifle
-a cable tie
-and of course the charred remains and ash of everything else.

The doctors insisted that she stay here overnight to make sure that everything is okay. As soon as the doors open tomorrow morning we are leaving here as fast as we can.

Slenderman, for your own sake I highly suggest that you return Megan right now. Not because I'm going to shoot you, but because the next time Alyce sees you, she is going to strangle you with her bare hands.
Same goes for you, Wheatley.

Thursday, 22 September 2011


Well, this is great.
Guess what Internet? We've blown a tyre. Oh joy. No idea why. We must have run over a nail or something. And because we're absolute geniuses, we don't have a spare!
I'm lazy and don't want to leave Megan, (who is no longer laughing by the way. She's just giggling like a schoolgirl now) so I'm waiting in the caravan while Brian's walking back to the Shell servo we passed a few minutes ago to try and find a replacement.
Aaaaaand because it's coming back into summer it's bloody boiling in here.

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Melbourne and laughter

Never thought I would put "Melbourne" and "laughter" in the same sentence.
No offence to anyone who lives in Melbourne. It's just every time I've been down there it's either been to visit a dying relative or to go to a funeral so it's always been depressing.
That and it's always either overcast or raining.
Today's not so bad though. There are some gaps in the clouds.

As you can probably gather from the title, we've been moving around the Melbourne area for a few days. Probably not the smartest idea in the world to post our position for all to see, but we left a few hours ago so it should be safe now.

To be honest not a lot has been happening. We've really just been hopping caravan parks around the place. There's not an awful lot to do in Melbourne from the inside of a caravan. Although, to be fair we could be in the middle of LA or something and still have nothing to do from in here.
Right, next time we stop for petrol or food or whatever, I am buying a pack of cards.

I was outside for more than five minutes today. We stayed in Werribee last night, so before we left this morning I went to go visit my grandparents' grave.  I wasn't really expecting  to gain anything from it....and it was probably a very silly idea (don't worry, Brian has already told me off for it), but this is the first time I've been back to Melbourne since Granny died (she was the 'close to the family' person I mentioned a few months ago)...I couldn't just leave without going and seeing them.
I didn't get to linger there for very long; about ten minutes after I arrived my Uncle walked in. Luckily my grandparents were buried in the Olive Grove part of the cemetery, and they're buried under a tree that I was able to quickly duck behind so he never managed to get a clear look at me while I walked out. He would have to know there's something wrong by now...he usually called mother almost every night. I can't tell him what happened without putting him in danger...but it still seems horribly unfair leaving him with no idea what happened.
If someone ever manages to kill that thing I'll tell him the truth. Sure I'll probably be declared insane, but he deserves to know.

So there's the 'Melbourne' part of this posting.
The 'laughter' is concerning Megan.
I try to talk to her everyday, but I guess I'm a pants-on-head-retard for never thinking to simply ask how she was feeling (thank you Jade Rabbit for suggesting it and reminding me). God I'm a terrible sibling.
Anyway I asked her about an hour ago, and she just started laughing. Like, full-on hysterical laugher. I'm guessing this is better then being totally catatonic, but it's actually creepier. She's still going now. I'm sort of hoping she'll tire herself out doing this so she can actually get some sleep for a change. Brian's threatening to gag her if she's still going when he goes to bed.
Still...I would really like to know what she's finding so amusing... should we be concerned?
Well I'm going to sign off now since it's my turn to make dinner. Campbell's tomato soup, yay!

Later, Internet


Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Outcome (part 2)

Oh whoops, Forgot all about this.
Can you really blame me though? I didn't even think it was possible, but things are twice as hectic now as they used to be. Thank god for Brian's caravan. I think we'd be pretty screwed without that.

Oh wait, I haven't told you guys about him yet have I. Alright, that's  where I cut off last time.
Well, I met him, what, must have been five days ago now when Wheatley still had Megan.
Ok, so mega early that morning I went and found the note opposite Hungry Jacks ((Translation: Wheatley, that means Burger King to you, apparently)).
Well, it was a bit bigger than just some note. It was a pretty heavy duty envelope to be honest. I'm actually really, really glad I was there that early, since I'm sure people would have thought I was part of a drug deal or something if they saw me.
If someone had come over to question me, I would just have had to sprint as far away as possible, since even though there weren't any drugs in there, there was a gun, and ordinary people aren't really supposed to have them.
So, yeah. I have a gun now. Cool. No idea how to fire the damn thing properly, but Brian said he'll teach me.
Sorry, sorry, getting off topic again. I do that a lot.

Ok, so this note told me to go over to Sumner Park and to kill some guy who was hanging out in one of the warehouses there.
Call me a wimp if you want, but I'm a Christian, and I'm really not comfortable with murdering someone. Even if it is to save a family member.
I know I've made death threats against Wheatley, but to be fair he's earned it. And technically I can say it's self-defence.
What choice did I have though. I went and drove over there, (having a quick laugh at some nervous looking guy quickly walking back from the brothel that's over there to his car), and arrived at the place this guy was supposed to be. I was planning to try and scare the guy and maybe provoke him into trying to attack me first so it wouldn't feel like plain old murder so much, so I donned my trippy mask before going inside.

The place was completely empty, apart from a lone caravan and a pretty beaten up looking car. Oddly enough, there was what sounded like some sort of Polka music drifting from one of its windows.
I crept up to the door and was just about to kick it open and jump in shouting random noises, but to my surprise it seemingly banged open on its own, and less than half a second later I had a hunting rifle aimed between my eyes.
"I've been watching you. You're far to nervous to be a proxy. Who put you up to this?" the man said.
"Um...I don't actually know...I just call him Wheatley..." I replied. I can't even begin to describe how weird this whole thing was. Have you ever had a relatively normal conversation when someone's aiming a gun at your head? It's really, really, really bizarre, and maybe even bordering on awkward.
He kicked the pistol out of my hand which was hanging limply at my side, then motioned for me to go in and sit down on one of the chairs opposite the door before retrieving the gun from the floor and sticking it in one of his coat pockets.
"Wheatley?" he asked,
"He's a proxy, but he acts just like this character from Portal 2 called Wheatley..." I said, still feeling awkward as hell.
Sitting down as well (but still keeping his rifle handy), he said "Oh wait, yeah I know the guy. Tries to make himself appear sophisticated but he's an utter moron. Brown hair, blue eyes"
I just nodded and then took my mask off. It seemed pretty silly to keep wearing it, and I highly doubt it would be able to block a rifle bullet fired at point-blank range.
He glanced at it, "Nice mask. So, who is he holding hostage to make you try and kill me?"
I awkwardly stared at my lap " younger sister."
He whistled. "Ah. I see your dilemma."
"Yeah," I said, "is it unfair to ask that you just shoot yourself so I can go tell Wheatley that I killed you so I can get her back?"
He just laughed "Just a tad, yes. Nah don't worry mate. I've been planning for a situation like this. I've got some fake blood in a draw somewhere around here. I'll just pour some over my front, keep it covered with my coat, and then you chase me out of here and shoot over my shoulder, I'll fall down, coat falls open, and any proxy watching will see the fake blood and thing you shot me. Then you go and drop my "body" off in the river. It's so murky anyone watching won't be able to see me swimming off. I'll go hide in the mangroves for an hour or so, you go get your sister back, and everyone's a winner."
I just blinked. How bored would he have had to have been one day to actually sit down and think that whole thing out? Good thing he did though.

I asked him what his story was, and if he had any idea why if Slendy's proxies wanted him dead so much, why did they send me to kill him instead of doing it themselves. Apparently he's been on the run for a good three years now. His friend, Dave started being stalked, and asked him for help. He didn't believe him at the time, but when he went over to his house one day to return a game he had borrowed, he found his friend pressed against the family room wall with TPF in full tentacle mode walking towards him. Brian did the only reasonable thing, and picked up the cricket bat leaning against the door and ran towards it screaming bloody murder. He swung at the thing, but it vanished.
They hitched up his Dave's caravan to his car and started running that very night.
He wouldn't go into details, but somewhere along the line he picked up his hunting rifle, and eventually ended up shooting a proxy that came after them. He said since then he must have killed at least half a dozen, until they eventually learned to stop coming after him. So now I knew why they sent me after him. Better to get the annoying nerd who might be a threat killed rather than one of their own.
I can't say I'm entirely comfortable with how nonchalant he appeared to be about shooting half a dozen people. Yes they were proxies..but they were still people!

They were left alone for a few months, and they started to think it was over, and they got lazy. One day, Brian went out by himself to get supplies rather than both of them leaving. When he got back, he found the inside of the caravan looking like a cyclone had passed through and messed everything up. He searched around the outside and eventually found a blood trail leading to bush behind the park. He followed it, and after some time found Dave's gutted body hanging from a tree by his own small intestine.

Cue awkward silence.

"Oh....I'm sorry for your loss..." I said.
He nodded "Yeah. So are we going to do this? I'm sure you're wanting to get your sister back."

The plan went perfectly. I've never fired a gun before though, so the shot that was supposed to just wizz over his shoulder actually ended up flying way over his head.
There may be a dead bird somewhere around there now.
So yeah, on the way to the river we exchanged phone numbers in case we needed to contact each other again, and then I rolled him off some run-down looking jetty down the side of an empty house and then left.
Anyone watching would have seen the occasional burst of bubbles making its way towards the mangroves and would have thought it was a fish.

And you all know what happens from here. I go get Megan, take her to a hotel, and then she tries to kill me.
That "other location" I mentioned is Brian's caravan. After Megan's episode I called him and convinced him to come get us, and we've been with him since.
Question, have any of you ever tried living with an imprisoned proxy?
Well...there's never a dull moment. That's all I'm going to say.
I'm hoping once they discover where we are and who we're with Brian's reputation will keep any would-be attackers away (I'm looking at you Wheatley!).

So yeah. That's everything.
I don't suppose anyone here knows how to 'cure' a proxy, do they? It would be really helpful right now.

Later, Internet

Saturday, 10 September 2011


I finally got Megan back about half an hour after my last post. But she's not...her..anymore.
That friggen bastard turned her into a proxy. She seemed fine when she came back...I just felt a tap on my shoulder and she was her usual self and seemed to have had no idea what had happened.
I went and got us a room for the night at a motor inn near the edge of town, and she still seemed fine.

Then she tried to kill me.

I was just about to climb in to bed when I heard her giggle behind me. I turned around and then spun away as she brought the lamp she was holding down where my head had been less then a second later. Still managed to clip me on the shoulder though.
I suppose this is one time I'm glad Megan doesn't exercise much; she has the physical strength of a lemur. It didn't take long to get her pinned to the ground, but then I realised I had no idea what to do next. She was making so much noise someone was bound to come investigate.
I still have no idea why, but after a minute she suddenly tensed and then fell unconscious for no apparent reason.
I don't know whether that was her trying to fight whatever was controlling her, or what. It was awfully bloody convenient though.

I loaded her into the back of my car and we've since moved to another location.
Alright, since it's now 1.18am and I haven't slept since she was taken, I am finding it extremely difficult to stay awake, and it's nigh impossible to concentrate on writing this, so I'm going to leave it here and finish it tomorrow.

Thursday, 8 September 2011

Ok dude, I did what you told me, and I've been waiting here for the past three hours. WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?


That bastard. That friggen bastard. How the hell did he even do it. I was right next to her. RIGHT FRIGGEN NEXT TO HER. How the hell did he even pull that off without waking either of us?!

I have no idea what, but SOMETHING woke me up, and when I did Megan was gone, there was a note on her pillow, and my laptop was on and showing that something had been posted about an hour ago.

I am so god damn angry that I feel like I am about to explode.  I have never been so furious in my entire life. How the shit could I have let this happen?!?
Sorry, I'll try to stay on stay on topic rather than just raging.





"-Hello Alyce

Did you see my little message? I hope I didn't disturb your sleep.
Rest assured that your sister is safe...for the moment at least. 
I may consider returning her to you...but first you'll have to do something for me. 

Go to Queen Street Mall tomorrow and look under the bench directly across from Burger King.
You will find an envelope taped to the underside of the chair.
Follow the instructions within the letter, and then go and wait beside the 
ferris wheel at Southbank. 
If you've done as I have asked, your little sister  will be returned. 

I look forward to seeing you again. 
Your Creeper. "

Ok, "Mr. Creeper", when I catch you, before I kill you I am going to ridicule you for your handwriting. It's painfully obvious that you're trying to appear sophisticated...but it really isn't working dude. You're a bogan. Deal with it. 
And, seriously? There's no Burger King there! It's a Hungry Jacks you idiot! Wow, if you had paid the slightest bit of attention to the city at all you would know that.
Oh well. It's just another thing about you that I can laugh at. 
Wait....trying to look smart...but actually an utter moron....are you Wheatley? There. That's your new name. You are now officially Wheatley. 

Ok, I'll play along for now. Just thought it would be fair to warn you, the first opportunity I have I am going to rip your throat out and then feed it to you <3 
See you tomorrow, dear. 

Hello, children.

Oh you poor, forgetful children.
In the future, do remember to deadlock your door. You wouldn't want any...unwanted guests now, would you?
You know, you have the audacity to call yourself her protector, but so far you haven't been doing your job very well. You really should have moved hotels after you saw me watching you yesterday. I do like the name you gave me though..."Creeper" describes me pretty well.
I'll be taking this, seeing as you're apparently unfit to guard her. Depending on what you do next, you may see her again.

Farewell for now,
From your "Creeper".

Tuesday, 6 September 2011


Hello Internet! I'm back!

I apologise for Megan hijacking my laptop earlier. I hope she didn't go subscribing me to supermarket catalogues took hours to clear my inbox last time. 
She did however change my background to a photo of her giving a thumbs up to the camera with the caption "U MAD SIS?" underneath it. 

But I digress. 
So yeah, I went back home again today to try and scavenge anything of use. I found the emergency money fairly quickly, so we now have an extra $2000 to our names. Should last us a while. I also went and collected things like batteries, a torch, long-lasting food like muesli bars and stuff, more clothes...stuff like that. 
...Then I realised I was effectively looting my (most likely) dead parents' house and proceeded to go throw up. 
Also there was this creeper standing on the neighbour's lawn across the street who was staring me and the house the entire time. No idea what his problem was. He probably lives there and was trying to work out if I was robbing the place. I will admit I probably did look pretty suspicious, what with me checking over my shoulder every 10 seconds and then leaving with a big garbage bag full of stuff. 
Well, if I get the police knocking on the door tonight I'll know why. 

So I'm guessing you've all read what Megan has you see my problem? Either she knows what's happened but she's convinced herself it never happened as a way of coping with it, or she honestly has no idea and doesn't remember any of it. I tried explaining it was real when I got back, but she just laughed and said she was envious of my imagination before she went back to channel surfing and eventually falling asleep again. 
So frustrating. 
Any suggestions on how to get Megan to snap out of whatever she's in would be greatly appreciated. 

Night everyone~ 

Oh hai gaiz

Silly Aly, will you ever learn to lock your laptop when you're out?
Wow, would never have taken you for having a blog.
WOAH you gave Dave the Bastard laxatives?!??!

Lololol what's all this Slenderman crap? Sister, I think we need to have a talk about what's real and what's just an internet thingy.
Ah well. Whatever keeps you entertained I guess. Btw, did you really think I wouldn't notice the GIGANTIC MASK poking out of your bag that you were obviously hoping I wouldn't see?
Your sneaksy-ness isn't as great as you think it is :/

k I'm bored so imma going to go back to James Bond now.
Have some spiderman!



Morning, Internet

I've decided that I'm going to go back to the house and try to find anything that could be useful. There's a James Bond marathon on one of the hotel channels that should keep Megan entertained while I'm gone.

About her...I'm really, really really worried. She seems to think that mum and dad are on holiday in the Whitsundays and I'm just here to baby-sit her. About ten minutes ago she asked when the house was going to be done being fumigated so we could go home.

I don't know what to do. I'm scared of what telling her the truth might do...but on the other hand I can't just let her delude herself into thinking everything's normal. For the moment I haven't told her where I'm really going. She thinks I'm visiting a friend.

I have no idea. I'll decide what I'm going to do when I get back.
See you guys in a few hours I guess

Monday, 5 September 2011


Just checked into a new hotel. Probably unnecessary, but you can never be too careful.
Besides, the other place had terrible TV reception.

In other news, Megan has suddenly sprang to life. As in, rather than being almost totally catatonic earlier, she's bounced back to her usual hyperactive self.
It's not like I want her to stay the way she was, but bouncing back like this in a matter of hours is certainly...unnerving. She's acting like everything to do with Slendy never happened. I don't want to ask her about it in case it sends her back to the way she was this morning, but...

Oh well. I'm going to go eat. I can't think when I'm hungry.
Night, Internet

Still Alive

Morning Internet. So foul and fair a day I have not seen.
Ok I'll stop quoting Macbeth. It is true though. The sun is out, there's barely a cloud in the sky, the temperature is finally heating up, our parents were eaten by an Eldritch Abomination. 
You know, the usual. 
Neither of us have slept since we got here (well apart from Megan who passed out for an hour or so when we got here). She spent all of yesterday curled up in bed, and I blankly stared out the window at the city. 
I think I saw the Channel 9 traffic helicopter. 

Probably going to shift hotels at some stage today; I really don't want to stay in one place for to long. I wanted to leave this morning, but when I went to get Megan she was asleep for the first times since we left, and she needs the rest. Hell we both do.
I don't know if I should go back to the there might be something that would be helpful like a torch, or band-aids or something in there, but still. I'm not sure it's safe to go back, and there's no way I would take Megan in there again, but I don't want to leave her on her own. 
That, and I don't think I'd be able to handle ransacking my own parents' house.

I had plenty of time yesterday to think about what happened with the mask. Is that really what got rid of him? Has there ever been any proof of masks working as a deterrent? 
Oh well, better safe than sorry. I've already decided I'm going to carry it around with me. Just in case. 
Heh. Maybe I'll record Skullkid's scream when he's bringing the moon down and blast that at him if we encounter him again. That should at least confuse him for a second. OH OH maybe Slendy's like a Redead, and if you play the sun's song it will paralyse him so I can go kick him in balls. Hard
Ok, if I'm ever in a situation where I'm going to die anyway, I am so trying that.

So, yeah. Just thought I'd better post something so you knew we were still alive down here. 


Saturday, 3 September 2011

it's finally sunk in


Alright, let’s have another go at this.
I honestly have no idea how I’m still able to put together a coherent sentence. I guess I’m still in some state of disbelief and nothing has fully sunk in yet. As soon as I post this I’m half expecting that I’ll just shut down.
Ok, where to begin.
Well, I arrived at my parents’ house quite some time ago now. I thought I’d try and freak them out, so I had brought along my Majora’s mask and donned it before I knocked on the front door. It just swung open, so I figured they had left it unlocked for me. I crept in, planning to jump out from around a corner and startle them as soon as I found them.  I carefully navigated my way throughout the house, but found nobody. I paused for a moment, trying to think of why my parents would leave the house empty without locking the door, when I thought I heard the faint, sound of muffled crying. Have you ever had that feeling when you’re playing a horror game, and you know there’s going to be something frightening either behind you any moment, or beyond one of the next doors you open? That feeling washed over me as I slowly moved towards the small bathroom where the sound was coming from. It felt like I was standing in front of that door for an age before I was brave enough to open it. I slowly opened the door, and to my relief I found Megan curled up on the floor. I dropped to my knees and tried asking what was wrong, but she ignored me. I’m not even sure if she could hear me. I was at a complete loss for what to do. I just kneeled there, awkwardly rubbing her shoulder while trying to figure out where the hell mum and dad were. Suddenly, Megan tensed, and jerked upright, staring past me towards the door with the most terrified expression I have ever seen on her face. I jumped up and spun around, only to end up staring directly at the chest area of an unusually tall man. I knew what it was instantly…although I didn’t want to believe it. As much as I told myself “it’s not real, I’m going to look up and see an ordinary human”, it did nothing. I tilted my head upwards and ended up gazing into the face (or lack thereof) of the Slender Man himself. What are you supposed to do when you are confronted with something like that? Normally, you would probably shriek like a little girl and run for the hills. Hell, there was nothing I wanted to do more at that point, but I couldn’t just abandon Megan. What else could I do turn myself into a barrier between him and her and try to make myself look as large and threatening as possible. I stared up into where his eyes would be if he had any, and I must have been high off adrenaline or something, because I curled my fingers into miniature claws and said in the iciest tone of voice I have ever managed, “Go on then, attack. I dare you”.  In hindsight, daring Slender Man to attack you is probably the absolute worst thing you can do. I think the only reason we’re still alive is because he must have been as shocked as I was by my reaction. There was nothing to stop him from killing us right then and there, but for some reason he didn’t. Thinking back now, it was probably a good thing the thought never occurred to me to remove my mask while I was searching around the house, or trying to comfort Megan. If any of you have ever Majora’s mask, it is a seriously trippy looking thing. A few of my friends are actually scared by it. I’m not sure whether he was intimidated by my mask, or whether he got bored, or what, but after having what was by far the most intense staring contest of my life, he sort of glided back down the corridor and vanished.
I turned back to Megan and helped her stand up. She just stood there, blankly staring towards where that thing had vanished. I gently asked her where our parents where, and even though I already knew the answer, I had to hear it from someone else before I could actually believe it. 
“Gone”. She answered hollowly.
Maybe it was a blessing that my emotions have been seemingly put on hold since he vanished. There’s no way I would have been able to get the both of us out of there if that had sunk in as soon as I heard. I know when I wake up tomorrow it will probably hit me, but for whatever reason I seem to have gone numb for now.
I didn’t waste any more time after she answered. I went and threw a couple of changes of clothes into an overnight bag for Megan, and then led her out to my car before leaving. We’re staying in one of the upper floors of a hotel for tonight. Megs passed out pretty much as we walked in the door. I think the adrenaline has finally worn off, so I’m probably not going to be able to stay awake much longer myself.
So…yes. That was my day. 
I..i dont know what to...
Sorry I'm going to need a minute to get my thoughts into something intelligible

Thursday, 1 September 2011


Aaaaaaaaaaalrighty. I'm going to be down visiting my parents for the next few days, so unless anything exceptionally interesting happens, don't expect any updates from me until I'm back.
Nighty night world~

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

QCS congratulations

Just thought I'd say congratulations to every year twelve student who sat the QCS these past two days! I've heard it was a bitch this year, but I'm sure you all did great!
It's especially fun seeing all the new Facebook "like" pages that are cropping up relating to it.
Once again, great job guys!

Sunday, 28 August 2011


First day of freedom.
Spent the entire day playing video games. 
Life is good. 

Best Day Ever

Guess what!
I've got a new job!
Well, not yet. I will in three weeks.
Well, who cares! I can finally get away from that dingy little cafe with that dick of a boss who really isn't that subtle when he tries to look down your top.
So from now on I'm going to be working as a secretary for a small family business. The pay is way better, and it's only a few minutes away from my house so I'll be able to walk there in the mornings if I want to save on petrol.
Well, today was my last day...and I tried to go out with a bang. I think I succeeded.
I've known about this for three days now, so it gave me plenty of time to plan. Ok, maybe I shouldn't say this over the internet, bur the odds of him reading this are almost non-existent. Yesterday morning, I took the laxatives I had been saving for this day, and then proceeded to go and dump them in his morning coffee.
Ever seen those captioned images with people pulling weird faces with the caption "Where will you be when your laxative kicks in"?
Like this

His reaction was sort of like that. He was wandering around the main room making sure nobody was trying to slack off, and he sort of paused, twisted his face into the most hilarious expression I have ever seen in my entire life, and then proceeded to sprint as fast as his legs could carry him in to the nearest bathroom.
He was in there for two hours.
Call me cruel....but revenge is sweet.

As a final farewell, this morning I printed off a couple of dozen sheets of paper with "I QUIT" written in big red letters. You should have seen me. I grabbed my iPhone, cranked the volume up and proceeded to skip throughout that cafe, tossing those sheets of paper over the entire room with Kool & The Gang's "Celebration" playing as loudly as possible before sprinting out, laughing like a maniac.

That was officially the funnest moment of my life.

So, yeah. That's it! I'm spending tonight dancing along to a Within Temptation concert while binge drinking tea. Sure celebrating getting an awesome new job usually involves more alcohol, but it doesn't take much for me to get absolutely plastered and I really don't want to wake up with a massive hangover tomorrow.

Goodnight, Internet!

Friday, 19 August 2011

Bargearse and QCS

Hello again, internet.
Righto, first order of business, this here is one of the original Abridged series-es, and by God it's one of the funniest things ever created by man. It was made by the D-Generation in the early 90's, and it's about a cop called Bargearse. If you're in need of a laugh, I highly recommend it. First episode is here.

Unfortunately, it's not all good news today. Today I received a rather...well...hysterical call from Megan.
I'll try to remember it as best I can.
Me: *picks up phone*
Megan: ALY! Oh god...*sobbing*
Me: Woah woah woah, Megs, what's wrong?
Megan: I-I'm sorry...give me a minute.
Mel: It's ok, I'm not going anywhere.
-Silence for the next minute or so as she managed to compose herself-
Megan: Ok, know how we...we have  to do practice things for QCS at school? ((In case you didn't know, the QCS test is the test that most hight school students in Australia have to take in Year 12 if they want to go to University after school))
Me: Yeah, they were an absolute pain. What about it?
Megan: During SEL today we had the head of Humanities come in and talk to us about how we could better respond to the writing task..and as part of that she handed out stimulus booklets from previous years' tests and told us to come up with as many ideas as possible...and...and...I checked, I was the only one to get THAT particular booklet.
Me: What was wrong with it?
Megan: I...I..*her breathing starts to speed up again*. I opened up the first page...and HE was staring right at me
Me: What? Who?
Megan: I'll...I'll text the photo I took to you. *few seconds of silence as she tries to calm herself down* I'm sorry... I'm sure I'm annoying you.
Me: No, no, no it's ok! I don't mind!
Megan: Sure?
Me: Positive
Megan: Well, I'm going to go to to you later
Me: Alright. Have a good sleep!
Megan: Hopefully. Good night. *she hangs up*

About five minutes later, this image arrived on my phone.

This has got to be one of the biggest coincidences I have ever seen.
No wonder Megan is so freaked out. I know if I opened my book and saw that thing staring at me, I'd probably scream like a five year old.
Who the hell even thought this would be a good idea? It just acts as High Octane Nightmare Fuel!

Well, that's all from me for tonight.
Have a good sleep everyone,

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Back Home

Well, a few hours after my last update Mum and Dad made it up here to pick up Megan and take her back home. She said she's fine, but something's still off about her. Well, understandable really since she's been missing for a week.
Honestly, we still have no idea what the hell just happened. I'm thinking maybe she accidentally ingested some really funky sort of drug and caught a taxi or something up here, and then just wandered around town for however many days before getting into my house with the spare key she knows I hide outside. If she was drugged that could also explain the memory loss, and if she's been out in the sun for days that would probably be why she's got that burn on her arm.
So, yeah. Everything's relatively back to normal; all family members are accounted for, and work still sucks.

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Unexpected Turn of Events 
Well, Megan's been found. The weird thing? She was asleep on my couch when I got home. 
Neither of us know how the  hell she got there. Firstly, I live a good hundred kilometers away from her and our parents. She can't drive, and she has the worst sense of direction in the world, so if she tried to walk it she would have just ended up getting lost. Secondly, in her mind, she went to simply went to sleep in her bed and then woke up on my chair. It took a while to convince her she's been gone for a week. 
Apart from some marks that appear to be a really bad case of sunburn or something on her arm, she's physically fine. She's still pretty shaken up, but you would be too if you woke up and discovered a week of your life had vanished, and that you had somehow teleported between cities. 
So, yeah. Crisis over I guess, but we'd still like to know how the hell she got here. 

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Bosses Suck.

So frustrated right now that I could spontaneously combust at any time.
My absolute dick of a boss says I have to be back at work tomorrow or I'm out of a job.That stone-hearted bastard has no sense of compassion or anything else like a human emotion other than the emotion that is "dick".
I can't lose this job. I'll be out on the streets if I do. I'm heading back tonight, and I'm going to dump an industrial-strength laxative in his next coffee.
And there's still no sign of Megan. It's just like she evaporated in the middle of the night.

Monday, 1 August 2011


Alrighty, I've spoken with the very helpful Jean over at Vivere disce, and she's said to assume it was just your average run-of-the-mill human who's caused Megan to vanish, since "people are bastards". 
I spent today walking through the city, searching her usual haunts and asking random people walking past if they had seen her. no luck. 
Megan, if you did just run away and if you can see this, please come home. Mum and dad are out of their minds worrying about you. If you come home I'll even give you my Majora's Mask!
Having said that, if someone has taken her, and on the very very very off chance they are reading this, then be prepared to suffer a very slow death via one of my kitchen knives <3. 

(Lastly, I know this is an incredibly facebook/myspace-y thing to do, but this song perfectly describes my attitude at the moment)


Sunday, 31 July 2011


I...I don't know what to think.
I'll start at the beginning I guess.
Ok, so I arrived at mum and dad's a few hours after my last post, spent at least an hour trying (unsuccesfully) to calm my hysterical mother down. Eventually she just sort of...deflated I guess, collapsed on a chair and pointed to Megan's room. Curious, I walked in and was immediately greeted by a face full of Operator symbols. It was like she had gone and taken all the the paper out of the printer (which she probably had), and then decided she wanted operator-symbol-wallpaper. There wasn't a centimetre of clear wall anywhere. And just to top it off, her desk was covered in drawings of Mr. Tall Pale and Faceless himself, his tentacles making him look more like a giant spider than a person.
Oh and her journal is full of creepy-as-shit rambles and dreams. There's some pretty messed up stuff in there.
It was like something out of Seeking Truth.
I honestly have no idea how to take this. either,
a) She ran away after spontaniously redecorating her room
b) She was abducted after spontaniously redecorating her room
c) Slenderman is real
Ok, c) is highly unlikely, but you never know. After god-knows how many hours combing the neighborhood looking for her and finding nothing, coupled with the state of her room and her weird journal entries, you have to wonder...
Guys, I need advice here. What should I do?? Did she just run away? If it is Slenderman do I continue looking for her and risk bringing him after mum, dad and I?
I'm going to go search through her room again and see if we missed anything.

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Just had a call from Mother. Megan's missing. I'm typing this as I'm getting ready to leave and help look for her.
Don't know when I'll be back.

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

The Flu and Jonathan Creek

Not a lot to say about today. I've managed to catch that flu that's going around at the moment so I've spent the entire day curled up on the couch with Misty (my dog) and having a Jonathan Creek marathon.
Huh. This was a short post.
Oh bugger it. I'm too sick to think of a way to make it longer.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Boys and Icing

I just devoured at least a cup of chocolate icing.
My God I'm going to be a whale by this time next year.

And I finally cornered Megan over Skype and managed to get her to tell me what's bothering her. It's boy trouble. Can't say I'm surprised. She's never had a boy interested in her before (not because she's ugly or anything, she just comes across as scary to people who don't know her well), so of course she's going to be nervous. She got all shy about it and wouldn't tell me much, but I did manage to figure out who it is. She said that he doesn't talk much and likes wearing suits. The only boy we know who's like that is a guy called John. Whenever he's not in school he wears suits. I don't know what is fascination with them is, but you almost never see him in normal clothing. He even does his shopping in suits!
Ah well. It's good to know it's nothing too serious in any case.

Friday, 22 July 2011

Cake, PistolShrimps and Concerns.

My god. I've eaten so much cake today I can actually feel  my waistband expanding. It wasn't even a special occasion or anything, I just went "Oh screw it, one day of binge eating won't make me fat" and then proceeded to stuff my face with delicious cake.
I'll go run up a hill or something tomorrow to work it off.

Come to think of it, tonight has just been me turning into a vegetable. All I've done is watch youtube, read slenderblogs and creepy pastas, eat cake and drink tea while lounging on a sofa. I may even watch Fight Club later. While eating more cake. And tea.

Alright, time for more shameless advertising. Has anyone here ever seen the PistolShrimps channel on Youtube?
Oooooh boy XD.
Just....just go look. They are honestly some of the funniest people on YouTube.

Ok. Now that all the light things are out of the way, I do actually have a possibly-serious problem I need advice on.
It's about Megan.
I spoke to her over the phone about an hour ago, and I'm almost positive something's not right. She sounded exhausted, she was really really quiet, and she just sounded overall distracted. Yes she's in year 11 and has a fairly large workload, but it has never bothered her beyond typical teenage complaining before now.
I don't know what it is, but there's something wrong and she absolutely refuses to tell me. She just keeps going "Oh I just had a late night".
Ok, I might have believed that, but I spoke to my parents afterwards and they said she's been like this for almost a week now and they've both seen her going to bed relatively early. That doesn't mean she isn't staying awake after she's dissapeared into her room though.
I know that there's probably nobody reading this, but if there is I'd love to know your ideas on how to help her, or at least find out what's wrong.

Alrighy, that's all I have for now.

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Naptimes and Hackers

Today was more of a "meh" day than anything else. Someone at work had turned the heating up really high, and someone at a table was reading Shakespeare.
You have no idea how hard it is to stay awake under those circumstances.
Oh well, nothing like being jabbed in the kidneys by a coworker's fork to wake you up again.

In other news, Lulzsec hacked the Sun's website. Well done good sirs/madams! We salute you!

In other-other news, I'm convinced my dog thinks she's a ninja. About half an hour ago the door blew open and she snuck outside. Went outside and started calling for her with no success. I came back inside and stuck my head out the back door to see if she was just locked out there. I heard the sound of claws in tiles and turned around to see her trotting from the still open door and down the hallway. I called her again, but she ignored me until she was out of site, and then turned around and stuck her head back around the corner as if to say "What? I've been here the entire time!"
And now she's nudging my leg and demanding to be fed.

Monday, 18 July 2011

All in all a good day.

You know it's going to be a great day when something makes you laugh less than five minutes after you wake up. 
So I woke up this morning, came out into the kitchen and turned the television on to watch the Today show. They were running a thing where you had to submit possible captions to this image. A few minute later they had a few bits of paper in their hands, and for the next few minutes they tried to read out the captions people had sent in, but never got further then saying the submitter's name before going "wait, no we can't say that".
I like to think everyone just said "DAT ASS". 

Anyway, the rest of today went pretty well, and I am currently relaxing at home with a nice cup of tea while watching Dopefish scream and swear his way through Amnesia: The Dark Descent.

Here is part one for your viewing pleasure

Friday, 15 July 2011

Nostalgia Critic

Oh god...can't...breathe. Ribs hurt....from laughing...too much.

Holy crap. This may be the funniest thing I have seen this year, or indeed EVER.
What is it that has amused me so? 
I'll start from the beginning.
So I was casually browsing ThatGuyWithTheGlasses and was sifting through Nostalgia Critic's videos in search of lulz.
Hoooo boy did I find them.
I finally decided to watch his review of "The Room" since the title interested me, and I discovered what is possibly the greatest so-bad-it's-good film of all time.
When I had recovered from watching the review, I immediately went and downloaded the entire movie to watch (yes I'm a pirate on occasion. Sue me.) 
If anyone is actually reading this, I urge you to watch it. It will be the best thing you have seen all year.

Nostalgia Critic's review here.

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Long car trips and sisters.

Lots of things have been happening since my last update, and this is literally the first time I've had internet access in over a week.
Alrighty then.
So, about the "long car trips" part of the title. Last week someone very close to my family died, and we had to travel down to Victoria for the funeral and to help tie up all the loose ends.
With the whole Tiger Airways-thing all the other airlines have jacked their prices up, and it was going to cost us a small fortune to fly down, so we had to drive. In total, I think we spent about 24 hours in the car each way; 18 hours driving, and another six hours sleeping off the side of the road in those rest stops along the way.
I won't go into details, but I think everything went as well as it could have, considering the circumstances. 

This also seems like a good opportunity to introduce my sister, since she was amazing throughout all this and made it all infinately easier.
Her name is Megan, and she is one of the most bizzare, but caring siblings anyone could ever ask for. She's in year 11, has never had a boyfriend, and spends most of her time playing the Elder Scrolls games. She is also terrific at distracting people from their problems. Really, if you're upset about something, spend five minutes talking to her and you'll forget you were ever unhappy. Well, for as long as you're talking to her at least.
She also has a really odd way of dealing with grief. Instead of breaking down and crying, or anything else people usually do she instead refuses to allow herself to think about it and throws herself entierly into whatever it is she is obsessed with at the time. This month she seems to have a thing with Creepypastas. She's trying to get me into them as well, and I have to say...I'm impressed! She linked me to things like the BEN DROWNED arg/story (sad we came into that one a bit late), various Slender Man blogs and vlogs, The Rake and other stuff. She tried to make me read the Suicide Mouse thing but I'm ashamed to admit I was freaked out by the title and refused to look at it. 
As is my nature with new and exciting things, I spent all night binge-researching all this stuff, and my God it's good. Sure I probably won't sleep for a week or two but it was all totally worth it. 

Alright, one last thing before I go. Blogger is finally cooperating and is allowing me to upload photos of my Skullkid outfit!

That's all for now.

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

The ultimate nerd.

Overall, today was a good day. Came home and had a Nostalgia Critic binge while eating junk, and I'm now planning to become the nerdiest person in Australia and play through Ocarina of Time while being dressed in my Skullkid costume which arrived yesterday. Complete with mask.
And yes I can see through it.
Don't judge me for owning costumes! I never really grew out of the costume-phase!
Besides, you have no idea just how awesome this thing looks. I did try uploading a photo, but it's refusing to work.

That's all for now. TO ZELDA!

Sunday, 26 June 2011


Whoops. Ended up playing Majora's Mask rather than watching Back to the Future earlier.
Good news is I did eventually get around to watching it again! Such a great movie.

In related news, may I say Christopher Lloyd has one of the best out-of-context lines EVER.
If any of you have seen a rather dodgy movie called "Suburban Commando" you'd know it. 


Greetings internet.
Yes I'm aware nobody will read this, but I felt liking having some place to get my thoughts in order, and for some insane reason, the internet seemed like the best place to do it. And if someone does happen to stumble across this, then greetings! It's always nice to meet new people. 

Ok, so a basic introduction to me. My name is Alyce Dalten, and I live in northern Queensland, Australia. I won't go into any more detail than that; I don't want some internet creeper turning up on my doorstep.
As of November last year I am out of year 12, and I'm working in the hospitality business to save up some money before going to Uni. I want to be a historian, but realistically that's probably not going to happen.
I love myths and folklore, and I spend many of my nights reading about various legends, mythological creatures, and the religions of various ancient civilisations.

Not sure exactly what I'll be writing here, but I promise I'll try to not be like some wangsting 13 year old MySpace user, constantly whining  things like "NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME. BAAAAWWW". I'll probably just write down anything interesting that happens to me as a record. My memory is really quite shoddy, so I end up forgetting a lot of stuff that happens unless someone reminds me of it.

Well that's probably enough for today. I'm going to go watch "Back to the Future" again.
Ta ta <3