Oh whoops, Forgot all about this.
Can you really blame me though? I didn't even think it was possible, but things are twice as hectic now as they used to be. Thank god for Brian's caravan. I think we'd be pretty screwed without that.
Oh wait, I haven't told you guys about him yet have I. Alright, that's where I cut off last time.
Well, I met him, what, must have been five days ago now when Wheatley still had Megan.
Ok, so mega early that morning I went and found the note opposite Hungry Jacks ((Translation: Wheatley, that means Burger King to you, apparently)).
Well, it was a bit bigger than just some note. It was a pretty heavy duty envelope to be honest. I'm actually really, really glad I was there that early, since I'm sure people would have thought I was part of a drug deal or something if they saw me.
If someone had come over to question me, I would just have had to sprint as far away as possible, since even though there weren't any drugs in there, there was a gun, and ordinary people aren't really supposed to have them.
So, yeah. I have a gun now. Cool. No idea how to fire the damn thing properly, but Brian said he'll teach me.
Sorry, sorry, getting off topic again. I do that a lot.
Ok, so this note told me to go over to Sumner Park and to kill some guy who was hanging out in one of the warehouses there.
Call me a wimp if you want, but I'm a Christian, and I'm really not comfortable with murdering someone. Even if it is to save a family member.
I know I've made death threats against Wheatley, but to be fair he's earned it. And technically I can say it's self-defence.
What choice did I have though. I went and drove over there, (having a quick laugh at some nervous looking guy quickly walking back from the brothel that's over there to his car), and arrived at the place this guy was supposed to be. I was planning to try and scare the guy and maybe provoke him into trying to attack me first so it wouldn't feel like plain old murder so much, so I donned my trippy mask before going inside.
The place was completely empty, apart from a lone caravan and a pretty beaten up looking car. Oddly enough, there was what sounded like some sort of Polka music drifting from one of its windows.
I crept up to the door and was just about to kick it open and jump in shouting random noises, but to my surprise it seemingly banged open on its own, and less than half a second later I had a hunting rifle aimed between my eyes.
"I've been watching you. You're far to nervous to be a proxy. Who put you up to this?" the man said.
"Um...I don't actually know...I just call him Wheatley..." I replied. I can't even begin to describe how weird this whole thing was. Have you ever had a relatively normal conversation when someone's aiming a gun at your head? It's really, really, really bizarre, and maybe even bordering on awkward.
He kicked the pistol out of my hand which was hanging limply at my side, then motioned for me to go in and sit down on one of the chairs opposite the door before retrieving the gun from the floor and sticking it in one of his coat pockets.
"Wheatley?" he asked,
"He's a proxy, but he acts just like this character from Portal 2 called Wheatley..." I said, still feeling awkward as hell.
Sitting down as well (but still keeping his rifle handy), he said "Oh wait, yeah I know the guy. Tries to make himself appear sophisticated but he's an utter moron. Brown hair, blue eyes"
I just nodded and then took my mask off. It seemed pretty silly to keep wearing it, and I highly doubt it would be able to block a rifle bullet fired at point-blank range.
He glanced at it, "Nice mask. So, who is he holding hostage to make you try and kill me?"
I awkwardly stared at my lap "Um...my younger sister."
He whistled. "Ah. I see your dilemma."
"Yeah," I said, "is it unfair to ask that you just shoot yourself so I can go tell Wheatley that I killed you so I can get her back?"
He just laughed "Just a tad, yes. Nah don't worry mate. I've been planning for a situation like this. I've got some fake blood in a draw somewhere around here. I'll just pour some over my front, keep it covered with my coat, and then you chase me out of here and shoot over my shoulder, I'll fall down, coat falls open, and any proxy watching will see the fake blood and thing you shot me. Then you go and drop my "body" off in the river. It's so murky anyone watching won't be able to see me swimming off. I'll go hide in the mangroves for an hour or so, you go get your sister back, and everyone's a winner."
I just blinked. How bored would he have had to have been one day to actually sit down and think that whole thing out? Good thing he did though.
I asked him what his story was, and if he had any idea why if Slendy's proxies wanted him dead so much, why did they send me to kill him instead of doing it themselves. Apparently he's been on the run for a good three years now. His friend, Dave started being stalked, and asked him for help. He didn't believe him at the time, but when he went over to his house one day to return a game he had borrowed, he found his friend pressed against the family room wall with TPF in full tentacle mode walking towards him. Brian did the only reasonable thing, and picked up the cricket bat leaning against the door and ran towards it screaming bloody murder. He swung at the thing, but it vanished.
They hitched up his Dave's caravan to his car and started running that very night.
He wouldn't go into details, but somewhere along the line he picked up his hunting rifle, and eventually ended up shooting a proxy that came after them. He said since then he must have killed at least half a dozen, until they eventually learned to stop coming after him. So now I knew why they sent me after him. Better to get the annoying nerd who might be a threat killed rather than one of their own.
I can't say I'm entirely comfortable with how nonchalant he appeared to be about shooting half a dozen people. Yes they were proxies..but they were still people!
They were left alone for a few months, and they started to think it was over, and they got lazy. One day, Brian went out by himself to get supplies rather than both of them leaving. When he got back, he found the inside of the caravan looking like a cyclone had passed through and messed everything up. He searched around the outside and eventually found a blood trail leading to bush behind the park. He followed it, and after some time found Dave's gutted body hanging from a tree by his own small intestine.
Cue awkward silence.
"Oh....I'm sorry for your loss..." I said.
He nodded "Yeah. So are we going to do this? I'm sure you're wanting to get your sister back."
The plan went perfectly. I've never fired a gun before though, so the shot that was supposed to just wizz over his shoulder actually ended up flying way over his head.
There may be a dead bird somewhere around there now.
So yeah, on the way to the river we exchanged phone numbers in case we needed to contact each other again, and then I rolled him off some run-down looking jetty down the side of an empty house and then left.
Anyone watching would have seen the occasional burst of bubbles making its way towards the mangroves and would have thought it was a fish.
And you all know what happens from here. I go get Megan, take her to a hotel, and then she tries to kill me.
That "other location" I mentioned is Brian's caravan. After Megan's episode I called him and convinced him to come get us, and we've been with him since.
Question, have any of you ever tried living with an imprisoned proxy?
Well...there's never a dull moment. That's all I'm going to say.
I'm hoping once they discover where we are and who we're with Brian's reputation will keep any would-be attackers away (I'm looking at you Wheatley!).
So yeah. That's everything.
I don't suppose anyone here knows how to 'cure' a proxy, do they? It would be really helpful right now.