Wednesday, 31 August 2011

QCS congratulations

Just thought I'd say congratulations to every year twelve student who sat the QCS these past two days! I've heard it was a bitch this year, but I'm sure you all did great!
It's especially fun seeing all the new Facebook "like" pages that are cropping up relating to it.
Once again, great job guys!

Sunday, 28 August 2011


First day of freedom.
Spent the entire day playing video games. 
Life is good. 

Best Day Ever

Guess what!
I've got a new job!
Well, not yet. I will in three weeks.
Well, who cares! I can finally get away from that dingy little cafe with that dick of a boss who really isn't that subtle when he tries to look down your top.
So from now on I'm going to be working as a secretary for a small family business. The pay is way better, and it's only a few minutes away from my house so I'll be able to walk there in the mornings if I want to save on petrol.
Well, today was my last day...and I tried to go out with a bang. I think I succeeded.
I've known about this for three days now, so it gave me plenty of time to plan. Ok, maybe I shouldn't say this over the internet, bur the odds of him reading this are almost non-existent. Yesterday morning, I took the laxatives I had been saving for this day, and then proceeded to go and dump them in his morning coffee.
Ever seen those captioned images with people pulling weird faces with the caption "Where will you be when your laxative kicks in"?
Like this

His reaction was sort of like that. He was wandering around the main room making sure nobody was trying to slack off, and he sort of paused, twisted his face into the most hilarious expression I have ever seen in my entire life, and then proceeded to sprint as fast as his legs could carry him in to the nearest bathroom.
He was in there for two hours.
Call me cruel....but revenge is sweet.

As a final farewell, this morning I printed off a couple of dozen sheets of paper with "I QUIT" written in big red letters. You should have seen me. I grabbed my iPhone, cranked the volume up and proceeded to skip throughout that cafe, tossing those sheets of paper over the entire room with Kool & The Gang's "Celebration" playing as loudly as possible before sprinting out, laughing like a maniac.

That was officially the funnest moment of my life.

So, yeah. That's it! I'm spending tonight dancing along to a Within Temptation concert while binge drinking tea. Sure celebrating getting an awesome new job usually involves more alcohol, but it doesn't take much for me to get absolutely plastered and I really don't want to wake up with a massive hangover tomorrow.

Goodnight, Internet!

Friday, 19 August 2011

Bargearse and QCS

Hello again, internet.
Righto, first order of business, this here is one of the original Abridged series-es, and by God it's one of the funniest things ever created by man. It was made by the D-Generation in the early 90's, and it's about a cop called Bargearse. If you're in need of a laugh, I highly recommend it. First episode is here.

Unfortunately, it's not all good news today. Today I received a rather...well...hysterical call from Megan.
I'll try to remember it as best I can.
Me: *picks up phone*
Megan: ALY! Oh god...*sobbing*
Me: Woah woah woah, Megs, what's wrong?
Megan: I-I'm sorry...give me a minute.
Mel: It's ok, I'm not going anywhere.
-Silence for the next minute or so as she managed to compose herself-
Megan: Ok, know how we...we have  to do practice things for QCS at school? ((In case you didn't know, the QCS test is the test that most hight school students in Australia have to take in Year 12 if they want to go to University after school))
Me: Yeah, they were an absolute pain. What about it?
Megan: During SEL today we had the head of Humanities come in and talk to us about how we could better respond to the writing task..and as part of that she handed out stimulus booklets from previous years' tests and told us to come up with as many ideas as possible...and...and...I checked, I was the only one to get THAT particular booklet.
Me: What was wrong with it?
Megan: I...I..*her breathing starts to speed up again*. I opened up the first page...and HE was staring right at me
Me: What? Who?
Megan: I'll...I'll text the photo I took to you. *few seconds of silence as she tries to calm herself down* I'm sorry... I'm sure I'm annoying you.
Me: No, no, no it's ok! I don't mind!
Megan: Sure?
Me: Positive
Megan: Well, I'm going to go to to you later
Me: Alright. Have a good sleep!
Megan: Hopefully. Good night. *she hangs up*

About five minutes later, this image arrived on my phone.

This has got to be one of the biggest coincidences I have ever seen.
No wonder Megan is so freaked out. I know if I opened my book and saw that thing staring at me, I'd probably scream like a five year old.
Who the hell even thought this would be a good idea? It just acts as High Octane Nightmare Fuel!

Well, that's all from me for tonight.
Have a good sleep everyone,

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Back Home

Well, a few hours after my last update Mum and Dad made it up here to pick up Megan and take her back home. She said she's fine, but something's still off about her. Well, understandable really since she's been missing for a week.
Honestly, we still have no idea what the hell just happened. I'm thinking maybe she accidentally ingested some really funky sort of drug and caught a taxi or something up here, and then just wandered around town for however many days before getting into my house with the spare key she knows I hide outside. If she was drugged that could also explain the memory loss, and if she's been out in the sun for days that would probably be why she's got that burn on her arm.
So, yeah. Everything's relatively back to normal; all family members are accounted for, and work still sucks.

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Unexpected Turn of Events 
Well, Megan's been found. The weird thing? She was asleep on my couch when I got home. 
Neither of us know how the  hell she got there. Firstly, I live a good hundred kilometers away from her and our parents. She can't drive, and she has the worst sense of direction in the world, so if she tried to walk it she would have just ended up getting lost. Secondly, in her mind, she went to simply went to sleep in her bed and then woke up on my chair. It took a while to convince her she's been gone for a week. 
Apart from some marks that appear to be a really bad case of sunburn or something on her arm, she's physically fine. She's still pretty shaken up, but you would be too if you woke up and discovered a week of your life had vanished, and that you had somehow teleported between cities. 
So, yeah. Crisis over I guess, but we'd still like to know how the hell she got here. 

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Bosses Suck.

So frustrated right now that I could spontaneously combust at any time.
My absolute dick of a boss says I have to be back at work tomorrow or I'm out of a job.That stone-hearted bastard has no sense of compassion or anything else like a human emotion other than the emotion that is "dick".
I can't lose this job. I'll be out on the streets if I do. I'm heading back tonight, and I'm going to dump an industrial-strength laxative in his next coffee.
And there's still no sign of Megan. It's just like she evaporated in the middle of the night.

Monday, 1 August 2011


Alrighty, I've spoken with the very helpful Jean over at Vivere disce, and she's said to assume it was just your average run-of-the-mill human who's caused Megan to vanish, since "people are bastards". 
I spent today walking through the city, searching her usual haunts and asking random people walking past if they had seen her. no luck. 
Megan, if you did just run away and if you can see this, please come home. Mum and dad are out of their minds worrying about you. If you come home I'll even give you my Majora's Mask!
Having said that, if someone has taken her, and on the very very very off chance they are reading this, then be prepared to suffer a very slow death via one of my kitchen knives <3. 

(Lastly, I know this is an incredibly facebook/myspace-y thing to do, but this song perfectly describes my attitude at the moment)