Sunday, 28 August 2011

Best Day Ever

Guess what!
I've got a new job!
Well, not yet. I will in three weeks.
Well, who cares! I can finally get away from that dingy little cafe with that dick of a boss who really isn't that subtle when he tries to look down your top.
So from now on I'm going to be working as a secretary for a small family business. The pay is way better, and it's only a few minutes away from my house so I'll be able to walk there in the mornings if I want to save on petrol.
Well, today was my last day...and I tried to go out with a bang. I think I succeeded.
I've known about this for three days now, so it gave me plenty of time to plan. Ok, maybe I shouldn't say this over the internet, bur the odds of him reading this are almost non-existent. Yesterday morning, I took the laxatives I had been saving for this day, and then proceeded to go and dump them in his morning coffee.
Ever seen those captioned images with people pulling weird faces with the caption "Where will you be when your laxative kicks in"?
Like this

His reaction was sort of like that. He was wandering around the main room making sure nobody was trying to slack off, and he sort of paused, twisted his face into the most hilarious expression I have ever seen in my entire life, and then proceeded to sprint as fast as his legs could carry him in to the nearest bathroom.
He was in there for two hours.
Call me cruel....but revenge is sweet.

As a final farewell, this morning I printed off a couple of dozen sheets of paper with "I QUIT" written in big red letters. You should have seen me. I grabbed my iPhone, cranked the volume up and proceeded to skip throughout that cafe, tossing those sheets of paper over the entire room with Kool & The Gang's "Celebration" playing as loudly as possible before sprinting out, laughing like a maniac.

That was officially the funnest moment of my life.

So, yeah. That's it! I'm spending tonight dancing along to a Within Temptation concert while binge drinking tea. Sure celebrating getting an awesome new job usually involves more alcohol, but it doesn't take much for me to get absolutely plastered and I really don't want to wake up with a massive hangover tomorrow.

Goodnight, Internet!

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